What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
