Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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