If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
