Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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