Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
