Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
