...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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