1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
