mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
