I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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