We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
