I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
As shirtless as possible
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Randomize
