I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
