I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
