I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I want to be your penis for a week.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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