If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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