she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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