but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Randomize
