Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
