I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
