let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
