You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
