Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
