i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
