Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
