Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize