first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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