i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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