But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
