All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
