Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
