You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
