If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
