He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
