i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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