she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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