Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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