he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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