So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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