he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
