erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
