She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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