was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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