I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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