What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
