After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
