Kiss
Puke
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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