She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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