Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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