You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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