Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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