just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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