they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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