Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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