Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
