there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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